


Magic is Magic

by Hestia01



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, The Dresden Files (TV)
Genre: Crossover of poor decision making, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 09:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hestia01/pseuds/Hestia01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hrothbert of Bainbridge appears in Ponyville.  He'll need the magic of friendship to get back home!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magic is Magic

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Dresden Files is property of Jim Butcher, the short-lived television series of the same name is property of the Sci Fi channel, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is property of Hasbro toys and Lauren Faust. To each and every one of you, I offer my most sincere apology.
> 
> Author's Note: Yes, I know this is a horrible idea. So sue me. Oh wait, you can't. I'm a penniless fanfiction writer. Blame Discord, it was his idea ;)

 It was a bright, sunny day in Ponyville. Pinkie Pie had thrown a beach party at the lake and all were having fun. Angel sat on Tank's back with an imperious air as he crawled along the bank. Meanwhile, Winona was intent on digging for treasure, and soon barked to say she'd found something. Fluttershy floated over to investigate.

 

“Oh, did you find a bone? What a good girl, Winona! What's the matter?” The young Pegasus asked, as her friend's dog now seemed as though she didn't like the looks of it. Angel hopped over and stuck his twitchy nose into one of the openings. He sat on it and pointed accusingly with a scolding expression. He stamped his foot on it authoritatively, glaring at his owner in command to do something. “Hello in there! Is something inside? Come out, come out, wherever you are!” She sing-songed into the strange object's hole.

 

A fountain of smoke floated out with a fiery flourish, and a strange creature stood before the pony. It's like nothing she'd ever seen before. It stood on only two legs, and towered over her from an enormous height. The parts that weren't covered by clothing were pale white, including his abnormally short mane. He stared at her with icy green eyes before gazing all around himself in alarm, then back at her. The ponies' pets all leapt up into the air in fright and scurried back home. Tank fired up his helicopter attachment and flew up to the clouds to Rainbow Dash's house.

 

“What is this? Where am I? Who are you? Have I been sent to Hell at last?! What on Earth are you? Speak!” He commanded, crossing his...forelegs?...over his chest. Fluttershy still couldn't make out what in the world this creature was. She cowered before him, backing away and scrunching up as small as she could.

 

“I...I...” and with that, she wobbled, as though about to faint. “I'm Fluttershy,” she whispered in a frightened squeak.

 

The creature made a disgusted face, staring down at the terrified creature. Something about her wide, innocent eyes made him regret scaring her to death.  “You look like a little Pegasus,” he remarked curiously, looking around himself again, knowing that he won't get a sensible answer until the frightened pony can gather her wits. He chose to simply take a moment to enjoy the fact that he was outside at last.

 

She nodded jerkily, flaring out her wings to prove it. “Yes...yes, I am."

 

He chose then to take on a more soothing tone, but still spoke brusquely out of habit. “Oh, stop that! I won't hurt you. Now where in the world am I? Can you tell me that?”

 

By now, the other ponies had noticed Fluttershy's strange discovery and were making their way over to the edge of the lake. Pinkie Pie bounced out of the water first with Gummy on her head, and circled the creature's legs, making noise like springs.

 

“Oooo, what's this, Fluttershy? Who's your new friend? Huh? Huh? Where did you come from? You're not a pony. You sure look funny. What are you?”

 

“A sorcerer...former sorcerer,” he managed to get out as he stared at the skipping pink pony that was still circling him excitedly. He looked completely baffled by the surroundings and company he found himself in. “I'm also a ghost.”

 

“A ghost!” Fluttershy shrieked and dashed to hide behind a tuft of weeds, shaking.

 

The ghost rolled his eyes at her reaction, looking rather offended. Pinkie Pie, however, took keen interest in this fact. “A ghost? A real ghost?! So you're dead, huh? Did it hurt? Was it scary? Do you like scaring everypony because you're a ghost? Do all ghosts look as weird as you?”

“I take no particular pleasure in scaring people...unless they have it coming,” he admitted with a grim smile. “My death was not without pain and fright, but it was a long time ago. And I was unaware that I was especially weird-looking, thank you very much.”

Pinkie Pie was still bouncing around excitedly, occasionally making a mighty leap to meet him at eye-level. “I mean you're so great big and you only have two legs and no tail or anything! My name's Pinkie Pie; what's yours?”

 

“I am Hrothbert of Bainbridge. Please stop that leaping around, it's very dizzying.”

Obedient to the letter, Pinkie Pie stopped herself mid-jump and fell flat to the ground with a crash. She looks up at him, eyes spinning wildly. “Oh, wow, neat trick! You made five of you now!” And with that, her head dropped with a thud.

By then, the others all arrived on the scene, and looked intent to investigate. Rainbow Dash found Fluttershy in the weeds and dragged her out by the tail. “What's going on, Fluttershy? What are you scared of now?”

 

“A g-- a gh-- ghost!” she squeaked, still shaking.

 

Pinkie Pie saw her friends arrive and was about to start bouncing again, when she remembered her orders not to. She gave Hrothbert a big smile and batted her eyes. “I didn't start jumping around, did you notice?”

 

The ghost claps a hand over his face. It was all so ridiculous that he nearly laughed. An unaccustomed smile twitched at his lips and he nodded. “I noticed. Well done.” _What circle of Hell have I landed in?_ He wondered to himself as he found himself surrounded by these talking, Easter egg colored, miniature beasts of burden.

 

“Guys, guys! This is _Hrothbert_ ,” she dragged out his name in an imitation of his posh English accent. “and he's a ghost! He's not scary, though! He says he's a sorcerer, Twilight! Maybe you know something about him!”

 

Twilight Sparkle approached him, looking as though she didn't know what to make of him. “There might be something back at the library, but I've never seen anything like you before. What are you, exactly?”

 Hrothbert had grown tired of looking down at these small creatures that were only knee-high to him. He squatted down and balanced on the balls of his feet, “You've never seen a human before?”

 

The brainy young unicorn cocked her head at this. “A human? Humans don't exist. They're just an old pony tale. You do look like one, though, so maybe they used to be real.”

“Are you telling me that the world has become overtaken by...ponies?” He groaned at the implications. “A great deal of time must have passed since I was last out. Humanity has been completely wiped out? Oh, if I weren't dead, I'd be sick.” He brought a hand to his mouth and straightened up again, looking at the strange new world with disgust.

 

Applejack and Rarity were still keeping to the rear along with Fluttershy, as Rainbow Dash flew up to stare down the former sorcerer face-to-face.

“So how did you end up here?” She attempted to jab his shoulder with her hoof but shrieked aloud when it went right through him!

Hrothbert shrugged, “I have no idea.” He then turned to Twilight, asking, “Your friend seemed to think you have some grasp of sorcery. Is that so?”

 

She looked down and scratched at the ground with a humble expression, “Well, some...”

 

“Oh, Twilight Sparkle, don't be so modest,” Rarity chided as she made her way forward. This strange creature didn't seem so dangerous now. She addressed him firmly, “She's the best in Ponyville. She does magic no one here has even seen before! She was taught personally by Princess Celestia herself.”

“So,” breathed the ghost, “it seems that while people have disappeared from the Earth, magic hasn't. That's something, at least. What in the world am I going to do here, though?”

“Let's go back to my place, everypony,” Twilight suggested, turning to explain to her new friend. “I live at the library in town, there's bound to be something there that can help.” The ponies all began to follow after her, leaving Hrothbert behind.

 

Finally, Hrothbert called out to them, “If you intend for me to follow, Miss Sparkle, it would help if you would bring me along.” Twilight stops and looks behind her; the strange creature they just met was straining after them as if he couldn't move any farther. After she returned to his side, he explained, “I'm bound to my skull, I can't leave it. One of you will have to carry it with you if you want me to come along.”

 

The ponies all looked at the skull, and as one they wrinkled their noses in disgust. Fluttershy and Rarity shake their heads and back away from it, refusing to touch such a thing. Then, Applejack heaved a heavy groan.

 

“Aw, it ain't gonna bite ya! Bunch of sissy fillies. Come on, Hrothbert.” And with that, she head-butted it into her saddlebag and draws him after her.

As they made their way, Rarity tossed her head self-consciously. “Something tells me we're going to attract some strange looks with that...creature with us.”

“I _can_ hear you,” Hrothbert reminded her curtly. “If you'd rather, I could take a more...appropriate shape so as to avoid unwanted attention.”

Twilight looked impressed at this suggestion, “You mean you can change shape at will? That's really complicated magic!”

 

They all stopped their walk as the ghost circles each of them, passing a finger through them one by one. “Hmm...” He murmured as he pondered to himself, pursing his lips in concentration. Then, he closed his eyes and whirled away in a spout of flame, then reappeared as a pony himself. He was a pale green color that matched his eyes. His white mane and tail were streaked with light blond as his hair had been in his younger days. He'd chosen the shape of a unicorn, deeming it appropriate since they were the ones associated with magic. His flank, however, was bare.

The sight of this brought Rainbow Dash to a fit of giggles. She tried to snort it back but it ended up coming out in mirthful cackles as she floated overhead, pointing her hoof at him. “You'll definitely get some weird looks for that! No pony that isn't a foal has a blank flank!”

Hrothbert glowered at her, silencing her laughter quickly. “And what, praytell, is a blank flank?”

 

Fluttershy gives her fellow pegasus an admonishing look as well, then faces the ghost-pony before her. “She just means you don't have a cutie mark. See?” She turns to show him the butterflies emblazoned on her side. “It shows what your special gift is.”

He'd seen the ponies' cutie marks before, but now paid them a bit more attention. “So, how do I choose one?”

 Applejack shook her head decidedly, “You don't choose it, it chooses you. I got mine when I decided to come back to the orchard after running away to the city. That's where I belong.”

“Look!” Twilight shouted, pointing at Hrothbert in amazement. Before their eyes, the ponies saw a cutie mark start to appear on Hrothbert's side. He looked just as surprised as they did, evidencing the fact that it was not his doing. A second later, a golden encircled pentagram shimmered into place. “Oooh, what's that?”

 

“It's called a pentacle. Where I'm from, it's a symbol of good magic.” He continued craning his neck to stare at his mark in disbelief. “I'm...good?”

The ponies looked at each other, confused by how touched their rigid cohort acted. A cutie mark was always a big deal, earning it had always been either a solemn or joyous moment, but he looked like he was about to cry.

Pinkie Pie of course was the first to try to cheer him up. “Whatcha looking so sad for, Hrothbert? I think it's really neat!”

“Thank you,” he grunted in an undertone, “I...like it, too. It reminds me of someone, though. A friend who wore a symbol like this. Someone I'll never see again,” he sighed, sounding very downhearted.

 “If it's special to both of you, maybe it means he's still with you,” Twilight supposed wisely.

 “Yes, perhaps. He thought I was good, too.”

 

 Rainbow Dash swooped down in front of Hrothbert, paddling backwards with her wings. “Sorry for laughing at you before. Was your friend a human, too?”

 “Yes, a wizard. Harry Dresden was the best friend I ever had. I expect I'll miss him for some time.” He wonders what his previous master would have thought of his situation...and appearance! _Oh, the crap he would have given me_... Hrothbert imagines comfortably, smiling a little as he imagines what his friend would have had to say about this. They continue on into town and soon reach Twilight Sparkle's home at the library.

 Spike heard his friends return and ran downstairs to meet them. He'd been left to hold down the fort while they were all at the lake. Twilight headed him off immediately and hissed a short explanation into his ear. The little dragon stared at the new green pony; he couldn't put his finger on it, but something about the newcomer gave him the willies. As much as he may look like a pony, he most decidedly wasn't. With a few nudges from Twilight, Spike joined her in searching through books for something relating to their new friend.

“We can be your friends, _Hrothbert_ ,” Pinkie Pie suggested brightly, noticing that her new companion is starting to look ill at ease in his new surroundings. The next minute, she remembered her previous encounter with an old grouch who didn't want her friendship thrust upon him. “Unless you'd rather not, then I won't bother you. Not in the slightest!” She flashed him a smile as a halo appeared over her head.

Somehow, as potentially irritating as the little pink pony's mannerisms were, Hrothbert had to smile at her attempts at cheering him up. _Whatever else she may turn out to be,_ he thinks, _she seems to have a kind heart, unable to stand to see someone else hurting or sad._ “Thank you, we shall see.”

 

Rarity approached him to appraise the new member of their group more closely. Out of his retained sense of human modesty, he had chosen to keep his scarlet waistcoat and black jacket. The sleeves stop just above a pair of silver bracelets around his hooves. As she looked him up and down to make sure that he would fit in around here, she remarked, “I must say, you have impeccable fashion sense. Interesting jewelry, too.”

 

The ghost looked down in Rarity's line of vision as well, shifting his feet as he grew accustomed to his changed form. “They're not a choice, they follow me in whatever form I take. They come with the territory,” he explained shortly, looking as though he'd rather not talk about it. “Always pleased to meet someone who appreciates the effort I put into my appearance, though. My friend...” his eyes drooped and looked sorrowful again as he mentioned him, then he forced himself to recover from it. “He never saw the point in looking presentable. No appreciation for elegance.” He tossed his head imperiously, voguing a little for his new acquaintance.

 

Circling him still, Rarity's eyes gleamed with the possibilities that might present themselves. A pony who could change his appearance at will, what a model he could be for her wares!

 

Meanwhile, Twilight and Spike were busy sifting through books pertaining to magical history, casting them aside one by one until they came to a relevant tome.

“Here's something! 'In times all but forgotten...' and so on and so forth...'humans ruled the land. Two-legged creatures with dexterous limbs and cunning minds, they bred the first ponies as labor animals.' Hmm, so they did exist! Let's see, magic, magic... 'Though they were the rare exception, there were many noted instances of humans practicing magic, without the help of a horn. They channeled their realized power through wands or staves, commanding the elements as today's unicorns do.' Interesting!” She read on, entranced by recorded proof that creatures like their new friend truly roamed the Earth long ago. “Ooh, look at this, Hrothbert, you're in this! 'The Darkest branch of magic is known as necromancy, or, commanding of the dead. The ancient sorcerer, Hrothbert of Bainbridge, was such an unspeakable practitioner of that evil art that he was cursed to live forever as a ghost and be bound to his own dismembered skull.' Uhh...” Twilight groaned. All six ponies looked warily at Hrothbert and inched away.

 Hrothbert looked at them each in turn with a scowl, “Oh, like you've never made a mistake before!” He stamped in annoyance. “It's bad enough that my curse binds me to this miserable existence, but to be constantly reminded of it with each new master I acquire, is that _really_ necessary? That was ages ago, epochs ago! Civilizations have risen and fallen and I've borne witness to them all! I tried turning over a new leaf with my last master, he made me want to be good, but if you're just going to keep bringing up ancient history and holding me to my old reputation, it may be enough to lead me back to those unsavory habits.” With a snort and a huff, he clomped away and turned his back to them all.

While the others still cowered back, Pinkie Pie wasn't deterred. She skipped right up to him and batted her eyes with a bright smile. “Aw, cheer up, Hrothbert! I've done tons of stuff that I shouldn't have.”

“Like what?"

 

“Once, when Princess Celestia came to visit, we had a reception for her at Sugar Cube Corner, and I ate all of the cakes we made for it!”

“How dreadful,” Hrothbert drawled sarcastically.

“And Fluttershy stole her pet phoenix! But it all came out okay in the end.”

  
The ghost turned and stared at the little pink pony's innocent smiling face, his own expression having lost some of its stoniness. While her version of a tarnished past paled in comparison to his own crimes, at least this creature was honestly trying to commiserate with him. In fact, her remarks had the desired effect of coaxing the others back towards him.

“Well, his star does point up, and he said that's a sign for good magic, and it says so in my book here, too.” Twilight could not deny this evidence.

“Now, the only remaining question is which one of you will take your place as my master? I cannot live independently, you know. One of you will have to own me.”

Applejack was the first to shake her head at this, “It's one thing to carry you across Ponyville, Hrothbert, but Sweet Apple Acres is no place for a ghost. Shoot, Granny Smith 'ud die of fright just from the thought of one!”

  
“And you can't stay with me, either,” Rainbow Dash tells him. “I live up in Cloudsvale. Unless you can fly, I don't think that would work.”

 

Spike still wasn't won over like the others, he cringed behind Twilight to protect him from the dead sorcerer. “It's awfully crowded in here, isn't it, Twilight? I mean, there's you and me and Owlowiscious.” He trembled fearfully, silently begging his mistress not to take the creature in.

 

Twilight glares at the little dragon, but heaves a sigh. “Looks like this place is out, too. Sorry, Hrothbert.”

“Still, you seem to at least be familiar with the basics of the magical arts. I'm a rather experienced master, if I do say so myself. Perhaps you would permit me to come by and offer regular magic lessons? I'll try not to disturb your little friend.”

 

Her eyes went wide and sparkly, “Really? You want to help me with my magic?!”

 

“It was one of my previous duties. It would certainly help me feel more at home.”

   
“J-just none of that bad stuff, right?” Spike interjected, still not sure what he thinks of the newcomer. The creature's reputation wasn't exactly clean. He didn't want Twilight to be swayed under a bad influence.

 

Hrothbert then decided to take charge of things for himself. He drifted among the remaining ponies before settling on Fluttershy. “You found me. It would stand to reason that I belong to you.”

 

“M-me?” She squeaked. “I...I suppose.”

 

“Now, that's just perfect, Fluttershy,” Rarity agreed heartily. “You take in all kinds of creatures, and even made friends with Discord himself!”

 

“You know Discord?” Hrothbert brightened, perking his ears up. “How is the old devil? I haven't heard anything from him in centuries. Oh, the times we had!”

  
“Oh..you know...he's fine, I guess,” Fluttershy faltered nervously. Taking him in like this might not be her idea, but putting it into a familiar context, just another homeless and friendless creature for her to look after, made it seem not quite as terrifying as it originally had. “You can stay with me.”

 

“I'll drop off your, uh, skull, at Fluttershy's house on the way home, okay?” Applejack offers, being the only one to bring her bag along with her.

  
“You don't have a thing to worry about, Hrothbert!” Pinkie Pie gushed, “Fluttershy is the kindest, sweetest, gentlest pony in all of Ponyville. You'll be good friends in no time!”

 

 

Three days later, Pinkie Pie and Rarity trotted down to visit Fluttershy and to see how their ghostly friend is getting on. What they found in the front garden startled them! There stood Hrothbert, looking tense and, strangely, as though he was trying not to cry. He saw the visitors approach and started towards them with a determined expression. Unexpectedly, he reached the end of his tether and was pulled short.

 

“Help me!” He rasped hoarsely, looking fearfully around him. “Don't let her keep this madness up. I've done nothing to deserve this! This from the kindest, gentlest pony in all the land?! I shudder to think what the rest of your species is like! Please save me, call her off! Get me the hell out of here!”

 

The two ponies took in his dread litany with wondering eyes. They turned to face each other, then looked back at the miserable ghost before them. “What has Fluttershy done, Hrothbert?” Rarity asked, hoping that this has all been some kind of mistake. Her friend certainly wasn't the sort to delight in torturing an innocent creature. Yet here is such an innocent creature, frightened and desperate, as though he'd endured horrific abuse.

 

“Never in all my accursed afterlife have I been subjected to such treatment!” He loudly declaimed, gathering courage. “She forbade me to speak in her presence, my lips have been sealed by her command for the past three days! And she taunts me! She questions and demands, never lifting her original order for silence before her! What's more, she won't let me transform, I can't get back into my skull and rest! I'm so tired, I need my skull, but no, even that is forbidden by the new regime! And to think, my previous masters would send me into it as punishment! I never would have imagined that I would be _denied_ entry into my own skull! 'Stay like that, Hrothbert, you have to look like a pony,' she says! I took this shape so as not to create a stir among your fellows. I had no idea I would be expected to maintain the charade! So of course, I have to obey. I couldn't transform or speak in front of her if I tried! Then she kicked me out of the house but won't move my skull. Look! Look at my range of freedom! Very generous indeed!” He indicates a worn brown patch in the grass, about a foot and a half in diameter. “And speaking of my skull, she won't even touch the damn thing! I never realized how much of a comfort it always had been, my former master would touch it, handle it, carry it around with him throughout the day, he even took it to bed with him sometimes. To be snuggled close to him like that, it was heavenly, but even to be touched, to be acknowledged, provides its relief. Does Fluttershy answer to the High Council? Is she under instruction from them? She seems to be intimately knowledgeable in what small pleasures and comforts my cursed state allows me, and how to deny them to me!”

He looked at the end of his rope, and finally did burst into tears, sniffling loudly and trying to wipe his eyes against his shoulder. “Please, mercy, please. I've done nothing, I've done my mistress no harm, I don't know why I'm being punished like this. Call her off, make her see sense! Kindness indeed! More like the patroness of malice and sower of despair!”

  
They got no more words out of him as he wallows in misery. Suddenly, he stopped crying when Fluttershy appeared in the window. He gulped as he was choked by the command for silence before his mistress.

  
“Hrothbert? Did I really do all that?” Her quiet voice sounded truly surprised by what she'd overheard. As strange of a creature as the ghost was, she never meant to torment him so.

Unable to speak, he nodded miserably, cringing back as far as he can from her, glowering at her in sheer loathing.

 

“Fluttershy!” Rarity admonished sharply, “How could you? What in the world were you thinking by making him suffer like that? This is as bad as when you took assertiveness lessons from that horrid minotaur or when Discord twisted you into cruelty. He may have a shady past, but he seems to have recovered from it. What did he do to deserve that kind of punishment?”

 

“I...I...” Fluttershy stammered, “I didn't know!”

  
Hrothbert gave an incredulous snort and backed his ears at her, obviously under considerable strain. The look in his eyes was positively hateful.

 

“Uh, Fluttershy? Are you gonna let him talk?” Pinkie Pie asked, giving the ghost a pitying look.

  
“I don't know how! I don't know why he can't!”

  
“I think you must've told him not to, and he has to obey whoever owns him whether he likes it or not,” Pinkie Pie observed. “That's what he said, anyway. Is that what happened, Hrothbert? She told you to be quiet but never said you could talk again?”

 

The wretched green pony nodded, pacing restlessly in his small circle like a zoo-bound creature. He hoped Rarity or Pinkie Pie will help him out of his newest prison. He yearned anew for his dear friend, his previous master. _Harry spoiled me, that's all there is to it. I'll have to get used to being treated like a slave again. What I wouldn't give to be back home with him! In our tumbledown little shopfront, scraping pennies to pay the rent, with his ghastly housekeeping and grooming skills. My own precious love of my heart._ He sighed as homesickness twisted inside him, bringing tears fresh to his eyes, that evaporate before they touch the ground. It was almost a relief to hear the ponies use his full name; it would not do to let them use the nickname that Harry had given him. He was Harry's Bob, no one else's. Especially not this merciless creature who bound and gagged him seemingly out of ignorance. Like a sociopathic child pulling the wings off of butterflies and maiming squirrels, unaware that she was doing anything wrong.

 

As he was deep in thought, he felt the unmistakeable sensation of a command being lifted from him. It felt like a burden being taken from his back. He straightened up and turned to face her, a fresh tirade ready at his lips. Then he saw the look on her face, she looked truly remorseful for what she'd unknowingly done.

 

“Just forget all the orders I gave you, I didn't mean them like that. I didn't realize you _had_ to obey me.”

 

His breath came in sharp gasps as he felt one command after another get lifted from him. He heaved a sigh of relief at last, then wisped away into a glowing ember with a smokey trail, landing back in his skull with a pleasurable “Ahhh...”

 

The ponies entered Fluttershy's home, gathering around the skull with glowing eye sockets. Pinkie Pie grinned happily, bouncing around the grisly-looking thing with her usual hyperactivity. “Feel better now, Hrothbert? Can you get some rest now?”

 

“Yes. Yes, thank you,” he sighed gratefully.

 

Butting Fluttershy's hindquarters roughly, Rarity shoved her friend up to the skull, gesturing pointedly at it and clearing her throat.

 

“I...I'm sorry. I hope you're not mad. Will everything be all right now?” Fluttershy squeaked uncertainly. “I didn't mean to hurt you. You can do whatever you want. Cross my heart.”

 

“We shall see. I don't require much, you know, so it was rather frustrating when what paltry comforts I enjoy were stripped from me one by one. True, my speech has been restricted in the past; I've been forbidden to broach certain topics, ordered to outright lie about others, but never have I been stricken dumb by a master, even my most bloodthirsty, brutal--” He stopped himself before he drove the coffin nail in any farther. It was clear that Fluttershy regretted her thoughtless commands. To compare her to a truly malicious person would be unfair. “I'm sure I'll recover soon enough, Fluttershy. I can let bygones be bygones provided you don't repeat your mistakes.”

 

“Bye, Hrothbert! Have a nice nap!” Pinkie Pie sing-songed to him, butting her head against the skull in cozy farewell.  Then, from out of nowhere, she pulled a bunch of colorful balloons and tied them up next to the skull before prancing away, humming happily to herself with Rarity behind her.

 

After her friends left, Fluttershy got out a pen and some ink and paper, flopped down on the ground and began to write...

“Dear Princess Celestia,

 

I learned today that thoughtless words can really hurt someone, even if they weren't intended that way. That's why you should always be careful to say just what you mean and choose your words carefully. No one wants to be friends with someone who's bossy and demanding.

Sincerely,

Fluttershy”

  


She rolled it up and set it aside to send later. She gazed over at the ominous-looking skull, wondering if he wanted to talk or if he would rather be left alone.

 

“Hrothbert? Are you all right now?” She asked timidly, hoping that she hadn't caused any lasting damage.

 

“I'll be fine, thank you.” He was silent for a few moments before remarking, “Your little pink friend feels nice. I like her, she means well. A bit more...jovial than I'm accustomed to, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.”

 

“Her name's Pinkie Pie,” Fluttershy informed him, creeping closer to him now.

 

“I hope I don't make too poor a servant. My previous master was much more lenient than any other I've had. He only really acted like he was my master when he was agitated or in trouble of some sort. Still, the worst he'd do is send me to my skull. I used to hate it, because it meant I couldn't come out and be part of things. Now...now I'm so glad to be in. It's restful, especially when everything around me is so overwhelming.”

 

Fluttershy circled the table where the skull sat, not sure what she thinks of it all. “I don't need you to be a servant. I can't imagine what I'd have you do for me.”

 

“Yes, that's a problem. We're so dissimilar and you have no use for a magical loremaster. That Twilight Sparkle would have better use for me, but her dragon is too frightened of me to make it a permanent arrangement. That doesn't matter. She gave me permission to visit and I intend to.”

  
“Maybe we can just be friends. Maybe I can help you. You know, I mean, getting used to the way things are now.”

 

“Yes, that might be worthwhile,” Hrothbert drawled grumpily. He shuddered to think about living any extended period of time in this strange, sunny world. Flowers, chirping birds, butterflies everywhere, all ruled by adorable pastel ponies...It chilled him. New leaf or not, he had always been more of a nighttime creature, at home among secrets and shadows.

 

“You must be homesick,” Fluttershy suggested, trying to display more of her characteristic compassion. From the time she acquired him, her ghost had been mooning around and sighing to himself, obviously somewhere else. “Want to talk about it?”

 

“I just miss my friend. If he were here with me, this strange world would at least be endurable. I don't know how to describe him properly, and I don't know what you would understand of such things.”

 

She sat near the skull with her legs tucked comfortably and her wings stretched out. “Try me. What can be so different?”

 

Hrothbert sighed, resigning himself to spilling his guts. He only wondered how much the little pony will be able to grasp. “Well, we were all we had. I knew him since he was a child, I was his teacher, his mentor. I trained him in wizardry among other things...then when he was older he inherited me. He got a place of his own, took me with him, and it was just us for several years. And can you imagine for two decades we'd been silently yearning for each other without saying anything! Well, it finally came up, I let it slip without thinking. He was heading out onto a potentially dangerous assignment. I'd meant to say 'Be careful.' but what came out was 'I love you.' I was terrified when I realized what I'd said...and then he said it back. He promised to come home safely, the dear boy, he even kissed my skull on the way out the door. So sweet, and so much more than I deserve.”

 

This confession made Fluttershy jump in alarm. She was silent for several seconds as she processed what her new friend had just said. “Wait, so he's a stallion, too? And you both...? You love him and he loves you back?”

 

Hrothbert was tempted to emerge, to better explain, but couldn't bring himself to get up just yet. He hadn't been able to rest in days and he'd just gotten comfortable. “Now that's what I was worried about, I didn't know how you felt about...that sort of thing.”

 

“But...it's normal? It's okay?”

 

That was when he did choose to float out of his skull, feeling very relieved. She sounded curious rather than judging. For his mistress's sake, he took his pony form again. “It's normal, it's okay.”

 

Fluttershy trembled with delight, her eyes widened even larger than usual with this revelation. “So there isn't anything wrong with me?”

 

 _The poor thing!_ Hrothbert though to himself, wondering how much that “wrongness” had tormented this pony's soul. “There isn't anything wrong with you, Fluttershy, except perhaps your treatment of ghosts.” He grinned at her, able to make light of her mistreatment of him. “Have the others...done things to you? For liking mares?”

She shakes her head shyly, “They don't know, I never said anything, I didn't want to lose my friends.”

 

“Is there someone who made you realize this about yourself, though?” Hrothbert asked, remembering when he first felt drawn to another young man in his youth.

  
This thought made her smile uncertainly, giving her wings a swish as she ponders that special someone. “Yes, there is.”

  
Taking the tone of a gossip-starved socialite, Hrothbert pounced, goading her on further. “Oh? Unicorn, Earth pony, or Pegasus? Anyone I met?”

  
“Pegasus,” she answered shortly, looking serenely happy for the first time since he came to live with her. “And yes, you met her.”

  
“Ah, that charming filly with the rainbow hair.”

  
“She makes me feel brave when I have to be,” Fluttershy explained. “She's just what I need sometimes. I think she's wonderful.”

  
It struck Hrothbert as so sweet to see this little pony so beautifully and quietly in love. _Lord, she reminds me of Marilyn Monroe_ , he thought to himself in astonishment. “Have you thought of telling her this?”

  
“Rainbow Dash? Oh, no, I couldn't! She'd never speak to me again!” Her look of paralyzed fear moved the old ghost to pity. Still, one cannot always assume the worst.

   
“You're sure of that, are you? Your dearest friend would abandon you if she knew you loved her?”

   
Fluttershy sniffles, afraid of the scenario in her head, then nods.

  
Abandoning his pony form, he transformed into his human self. “Now is that being fair to her? I'm not saying you should go barging in and announcing it without warning, but it's no good to let it keep forever. I know I'm hardly an example, staying silent for as long as I did with Harry, but you can at least learn from my mistake of waiting too long.   Take it from me, there's nothing harder to live with than regret.  Who knows? Maybe she feels the same way and is just as afraid.”

  
“Rainbow Dash isn't afraid of anything. She wouldn't...I mean, even if she _was_ ...that way, she wouldn't want me.” Fluttershy dropped down to the floor with a _flump_ , looking thoroughly downhearted.

 

Hrothbert stood over her with crossed arms, pondering if there was anything he could do to aid his mistress in her lovelorn state. Time would tell if he could be of any help here.

 

Thus, began his new life. After Fluttershy finally removed her unintentional restrictions, her friends practically stampeded into his afterlife, pulling him from one direction to the other. Hrothbert found himself assisting Rarity in her boutique, functioning as a visual aid for her skillfully wielded needle and thread. He actually found this quite enjoyable, as it stroked his vanity perfectly. Next, he was whisked away with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, rendering him overwhelmed by their hyperactivity. After spending time watching airshow stunts and assisting in...whatever Pinkie Pie was up to that day, he gladly vanished into his skull for some peace and quiet with his mistress. She alone seemed to recognize how stressful such busy days were for him, and took special care to be considerate of his wrung nerves. Even her animal friends had stopped being afraid of their new housemate, and were seen napping near his skull during lazy afternoons. Despite his initial annoyance at this, Hrothbert soon gave way to content at being so accepted. After a lifetime of being kept secret with a history of being used for more nefarious purposes, he found this strange new life was a pleasant vacation from all of that. Still, homesickness was his constant companion, as well as the knowledge that he could never really belong here.

 

He entertained Fluttershy for hours at a time, describing the various magical creatures with which he was familiar, both in life and in death. She even delighted in hearing of common creatures who, like humans, no longer walked the Earth. She would oftentimes take him outside into her garden while she tended to her flowers. It's a pity she refused to let him out at night. As much as he enjoyed being outdoors with her, he longed to be out under the stars, to be bathed in the light of the legendary great sorcerers of old, feel their power flicker against him even for a moment. He wished to see the neighboring forest under the gentle light of the moon.

 

What came next, however, replenished and revived him. At long last, Twilight came to Fluttershy's door with the request to take lessons from the old ghost. Since he'd arrived in this topsy-turvy place, Hrothbert had wanted to pursue such things with the unicorn. He gladly surrendered himself to her care and was beside himself with pleasure at her vast library. It reminded him strongly of one of his old homes. A twinge of nostalgia upset his calm. Twilight appeared to enjoy having such an unconventional instructor, as well. He certainly was impressed with how much the young pony was capable of at such a young age. _Naturally precocious_ , he noted pleasantly to himself as he made one of his daily visits to her home.  


“...and the final Element of Harmony is Magic,” Twilight finished her recitation, looking for approval. She'd just told her teacher in full the story of the Elements of Harmony, and the parts she and her friends played in it.

  
Hrothbert raised an eyebrow, “Magic...is one of your Elements of Harmony?”

  
“Yes, and together they unleash the power of friendship!”

  
“Why?” He asked dryly.  


“Because friendship is magic!”  


“Don't talk nonsense, Miss Sparkle. Friendship isn't magic. Magic is magic.” And he would not be swayed on the matter.  


And so, this became his life. Weeks passed into months, summer became winter which in turn begat spring, and before he knew it, he had been in Ponyville for a year.  


“Very good, Miss Sparkle, you're improving wonderfully!” Hrothbert praised his pupil as she completed another magical goal on her list. Her conjuring abilities had greatly grown since he'd taken charge of her studies. What's more, the young filly actually seemed to thrive on his praise, working all the harder to make him pleased with her. As often as he'd ended up as a magical instructor of some sort, rarely had it been that he was blessed with such an attentive and able student. True, she had a great deal of natural talent, but he took a share of pride in helping her reach her full potential. She'd already advanced to the point of being able to write her own spells. One in particular that he benefited from was one that granted him a tangible form, with the ability to touch and taste once more. Thanks to Twilight, Hrothbert was able to actually sit or lie down if he wished, even eat! And, if he wanted to, he could still take spirit form and go into his skull for some peace and quiet. Yes, that spell certainly pleased him.   In his new tangible form, he was even able to help Apple Jack's family with the harvest.  An extra pair of hooves was especially welcome during the zap apple harvest!  It may have been hard work, but it felt good to be needed and useful.  Plus, it was an excellent way to release centures of built-up tension!  Apple Jack herself told him he had the makings of a fine apple-bucker. 

 

Back at the library, Hrothbert made another check mark on Twilight's list of accomplishments and turned to the stack of books for the next lesson. Together, they made child's play of her monumental library!  Yes, one could say that all was well. Then, he felt it. A soft nuzzling against his flank. He looked down and there was his student, rubbing her horn affectionately to his side.  


“Miss Sparkle?”

 

“Oh, Professor Hrothbert, I love you,” she sighed dreamily. “Please stay. Stay here. Spike isn't afraid of you anymore. We could be together.”

  
Hrothbert backpedaled briskly, bumping into a wall in his effort to get away. This tiny purple pony had fallen in love with him!

  
“I'm afraid that isn't advisable. Please, if you would continue--”

  
“Why?”

  
Hrothbert snorted grumpily, rolling his eyes at his demanding student. “We have work to do. We have fifteen minutes left of class--” and again he was cut off.

  
“I don't mean that, I mean why isn't it advisable?”

  
“The reasons are too numerous to count, Miss Sparkle. If you can't recognize them, then I don't know how I am to explain satisfactorily.”

  
Twilight looks taken aback, looking up at him with her head cocked to the side. “But I love you. I think you're just wonderful!”

  
“And those are your reasons why we are presumably 'meant to be'?” She nodded eagerly. “Very well. First of all, you're too young. Far too young.”

  
“But you're like a thousand years old! Anyone would be too young for you!” Twilight was quick to point out.

 

“I mean you're a child! I cannot, absolutely cannot...think of you that way. Besides, despite being raised in England in the Middle Ages, I have no taste for horseflesh.” He gave her a withering look as he let that suggestion sink in. Surely enough, Twilight cringed in revulsion, appalled at the picture he'd painted for her.

She gulped, looking rather ill. “But you're like me! We're the same!”

  
“Don't say that, we're not at all the same.” He paced irritably, circling the room with his lovesick apprentice in the center. “We're not even the same species!”

  
“We are now,” she suggested hopefully. “I mean, I know you weren't to start out, but--”

  
“If you think that simply taking on another creature's appearance _makes_ me that creature...”

  
Again, Twilight looked askance at his word choice. “Creature?”

  
“Twilight Sparkle, I am a man, a human male. I'm a dead human man who's cursed for eternity for practicing Black magic! You and I aren't remotely the same.”

  
“That was a long time ago, Hrothbert. You're a pony now,” Twilight kept on, as though by repeating it, it would somehow become true.

  
“Congratulations, Miss Sparkle, you've proven me wrong. Up until this afternoon, I thought you were halfway intelligent. I may _look_ like one of you, but I'm really not. You cannot assume that deep down I'm really a pony. That would be utterly ridiculous, not to mention insulting to my true nature. Awfully conceited of you to assume that at their hearts, all creatures are exactly like you, or that they should be.” He sniffed loudly, tossing his head.

  
Twilight twitched her ears back, still looking for a way around this problem. “Fine, so we're not the same thing. I thought you liked me. I thought you cared.”

 

“I like you, you've been a worthy student. It's been a pleasure to work with you. That doesn't mean that I love you.”

 

“Why not?

 

Hrothbert was rapidly losing patience with the little pony. The very air was charged with his frustration at her. “Why not? Listen, does it not put you off in any way to know that I am centuries your senior and a vastly different species altogether?”

 

“I don't care. Why do you?”

  
Then, Hrothbert's expression brightened. He drew his lips together in a look of delighted realization. She'd just handed him a weapon to use, and it would be just the thing: “You don't care?” Twilight shook her head with a self-satisfied smirk, certain that she just won the argument. “Very well.” He shapeshifted back into his human form with more than his usual flair. He towered over her once again, every bit the old sorcerer that he once was. “Oh, come away with me, Twilight! Let us leave this dreadful place and find somewhere that we can make magic together. We will find a nice, dark, secret place to dwell, away from these silly ponies. They just don't understand us, you know. I know just the place, the forest! The Everfree Forest! It always appealed to me but my mistress would rarely let me go there. We can make a home deep in the heart of it. We'll be little more than a dread whisper to the common pony. Come! Let us quit this ghastly world of sunshine and birdsong, into the shadows where we can be safe! I shall teach you such sorcery of which you've never dared dream! In time, we can seize the throne, throw down the monarchy and take the power for ourselves! Wouldn't it be lovely? Come with me, Miss Sparkle, and it will all be ours!”

 

Twilight started back in surprise, each of his suggestions have filled her with repulse. Leave Ponyville? Throw down Princess Celestia? Live out her life in the dreaded Everfree Forest?! This isn't what she wanted! “I...I...” She stammered, looking up at Hrothbert with fright.

“Whatever is the matter, my dear? Isn't that what you wanted? To be together? That you don't care that we're different? Surely, you don't think I'd want to stay _here_ , and I certainly couldn't stay a pony!  I work best in solitude and silence. And who better than we to rule this world?”

  
“I don't want to rule Equestria! I don't want any of that!” She shrieked, looking wildly up and down at him. She was completely horrified by the future he imagined for them.

  
Putting his hands on his hips, Hrothbert pouted down at her with raised eyebrows. “Now do you understand?” She nodded, shivering. With a more pitying look, he knelt down beside her. “Would it help if I told you there is someone back where I'm from whom I love? Someone like me? So, you see, we cannot be what you desire. Romantic entanglements are much more complicated than what you'd imagine them to be.”

Twilight looked up at him sadly, her hopes laid waste. “There's someone you left behind? Someone you miss?”

Hrothbert nodded seriously, “Very much. He's the closest thing to family I've ever had. If there was a way to go back, I would, and hang the cost.”

The hurt of his rejection had completely sunken in, and with a heavy sigh Twilight trotted to the door. “You'd better get back to Fluttershy's. I've got stuff to do.”

He nodded, straightened up, picked up his skull and left.

 

Twilight headed straight to Sugar Cube Corner to drown her sorrows in a chocolate shake.  When Rarity saw her friend sitting all by herself, looking so despondent, she was filled with the desire to help. She pulled up a seat next to her. “Something wrong, Twilight?”

  
She grunted distractedly, not looking up “Hrothbert and I had a fight.”

   
“Oh dear. What about?”

  
Twilight slurped her drink, fortifying her after her recent shock. “I told him I loved him. He...enumerated the reasons why I'm not the one for him.”

  
Pinkie Pie joined them, bearing a tray of frosted cakes. She doled them out among her friends with batting eyes and a big grin. “Somebody needs cheering up! You get to try my scrumptious snickerdoodle cream cakes!”

 

Twilight gave her a weak smile and took a bite. Rarity did the same. “Well, Twilight, no offense but why should you be the one for him? He's a different creature altogether. And besides, he still pines for his stallion at home.”

  
“Yeah, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie agreed. “Since you did that spell for him that made him able to eat, he's been in here three days a week buying out my goodies and going on and on about Harry and his home.  Harry's not really a stallion, he's a wizard, but it's easier to say.”  She buried her nose in her own pile of cakes and munched thoughtfully.  "Whatever you're paying him for teaching you, Twilight, keep it up!  He's my best customer!  I mean, I wish I could for-real help him, but the best I can do is feed him cupcakes and listen to his stories.  Poor guy.  I even wrote to Princess Celestia about him.  He just really misses his stallion."  


“Hrothbert's in love with another...stallion?” Twilight wondered aloud.  "He talks to you about that?"

 

“Yeah.   He has tons of other stories, but they come back to Harry a lot.  You know, he's like Rainbow Dash.” At Twilight's even more surprised look, Pinkie Pie explained: “Sometimes a mare goes with a stallion, sometimes a mare goes with another mare, sometimes a stallion goes with another stallion.”

 

“Okay, but what does that have to do with Rainbow Dash?” Twilight had to know, getting too many revelations now to eat.

 

Rarity gave her an odd look, wondering how these sorts of things could have escaped her normally bright friend. “Didn't you know? She's been positively hung up on Fluttershy for ages.”

  
“Really? Does Fluttershy know?”

  
With a shrug and a toss of her mane, Rarity nibbled daintily at her cream cake. Meanwhile, Hrothbert breezed in and pulled up a chair as well. Eager for a dose of gossip and the need to relieve his foul mood, he joined right in. “I doubt it. She's too in love with Rainbow Dash to notice. She's certain that even if she was 'that way', somepony as _wonderful_ as Rainbow Dash wouldn't want her. Poor Fluttershy. She's so sweet.”

  
“So are these!” Pinkie Pie announced, pushing the tray at their human friend. “Wow, I almost forgot what you really looked like!” An awkward silence descended on the table, Hrothbert took the hint and swiped one of Pinkie Pie's cakes, standing again.

“All right, I understand. Girl talk. Do continue.” He took a bite, gave the young baker a gesture of approval, pocketed another one for the road, and sauntered out as quickly as he'd arrived. They all looked at each other, curious about what he'd just revealed. Pinkie Pie drew a hoof through the air, pondering what all of this meant.

With a mournful look of resignation, Twilight sighed, “I know what I have to do.” And with that, she gulped down the rest of her cream cakes, and headed back to the library with drooping ears and tail.

 

A moment later, having seen Twilight leave, Hrothbert returned, looking around the table.  “Go ahead, Hrothbert, pull up a chair! Now we can hear your side of it.” Pinkie Pie invited him happily. 

He obeyed, pleased to be included in the group. “Think Twilight will be all right? I fear I had to be rather hard on her. She was very insistent.”  He tossed a bit coin to Mrs. Cake and gave her a wave as she hovered past, and she came right back with a steaming mug of hot chocolate.  It was his standing order, particularly when he was prone to moping, which, honestly, he did a lot.  He gulped it down, leaving a smudge of whipped cream on his nose.  Pinkie Pie helpfully licked his face clean.

  
“I'm sure she'll be fine,” Rarity assured him, hoping to alleviate his obvious guilt. “She's such a bookworm, of course she'd get a crush on her teacher. How did you throw her off the scent?”

  
“Well, the way Pinkie Pie put it was probably better than how I worded it. I did some reverse psychology on her, illustrating how different we really are. It's nothing personal, she's a very nice pony, and an able student, and I'm proud to have her as an apprentice, but I simply cannot even imagine _being_ with her! It's unthinkable,” he shuddered.

  
“I hope you didn't put it to her _that_ way. I don't care if it's true, it sounds insulting to me,” Rarity said, looking scandalized.

  
“Tell me, my dear,” Hrothbert replied, drawing the snack platter nearer to him and selecting another cake. “Do you find me attractive? Physically attractive? Like this?”

Looking sheepish, Rarity gave him an awkward smile, “Well, not _really_ \--” Pinkie Pie shook her head as well.

 “So if you're not drawn to a human, why should I be attracted to a pony?” He crammed his treat in his mouth in one bite, licking frosting off of his fingers. Ever since Twilight's latest spell had been a success, he'd been making up for lost time in what pleasures he could reap. “I'm sorry it sounds cruel, but it's the truth. It's a simple fact of life.”

  
“Still, you probably hurt her feelings,” Rarity suggested. “I know you didn't mean to, but she'll be upset for a while just the same.”

  
“She'll get over it,” Pinkie Pie promised him. “Just give her time, and be nice.”

 

Meanwhile, Twilight was hard at work in her library, looking for a spell that would send Hrothbert home. She would need to wait until he got back to do much of anything, but learning the basics of a transdimensional portal couldn't hurt.

 

The next day at ten o'clock in the morning, Hrothbert came back to the library on time for Twilight's scheduled magic lesson. He set his skull down on the table, gave it a pat, and faced his pupil. Since their confrontation yesterday, he remained in human form. He figured it would help prove his point. With his hands clasped behind his back, he looked down at his student. They stared at each other silently for a few minutes, feeling each other out.

“Twilight, I'm sorry for how things went yesterday. I didn't enjoy it any more than you did. Can we put things aside and continue on with our lesson plan?”

  
“I think we can jump ahead a few chapters.” She stood aside to show what page her book is open to. “I just need to see your skull for a minute, then I think I can manage the spell.”

  
Hrothbert raised his eyebrows with pursed lips, pointing at her curiously. “Spell? What spell?”

“If you don't want to stay here with me, I'm going to send you home.” She stood up on her hind legs to the table where the skull sat. She pointed her horn at it and concentrated, an orange glow surrounding it that gradually turned purple. She must have drawn what she needed from it, because when she faced him again she wore a look of perfect clarity. She nudged his skull off of its perch and onto a cushion on the floor.

  
“Tell me where you're from. As specific as you can get. The last thing you remember would help as well.”

The ghost closed his eyes in concentration, trying to form a clear picture in his mind, to aid the spell in whatever way he can. “Before I came here I was in Harry Dresden's wizard shop, I don't know if we actually had an address. South side of Chicago, Illinois, United States of America...I remember he was fiddling with his staff, trying to increase its power or--no, he was attempting to clear away magical debris that may have collected on it. The next thing I knew I was here in this world.” Then, his strength gave out and he wisped away into his skull with a relieved sigh.

Twilight glared at the blank wall with determination. Closing her eyes, she focused all of her energy on her task. Moments later, a glimmering hole opened in midair, a window to another world, another time. She stomped over to the skull, raises her hind leg and kicked it roughly through. She was about to close it up again, when she heard a voice coming from the other side.

“Bob?! Bob, where are you?” A male voice cried, sounding desperate, beside himself, like he's at the end of his miserable rope. She saw a pair of hands pick up the skull, stroking it fondly. “There you are! Thank goodness. Come on, Bob, talk to me. Hrothbert of Bainbridge, I summon you!”

  
Obediently compelled by the command, he appeared before his master once again. He looked all around himself in amazement, not even noticing the window to Ponyville through which his friend peered at him. “Oh, my! It worked!  I'm home! Oh, I'm home!” He laughed uproariously as he brought his hands up to his face, then...

“Harry...Oh, Harry!” He gasped, surprising the man when he sprang at him eagerly, scooping him up in a ferocious embrace, planting a great big kiss on his lips.

Harry stumbled back, setting the skull down on a table before wrapping his arms around his “attacker” as well. “How...how?!”

Bob simply squeezed the man tightly, purring his content. “Oh, my love, I'm home!”

Still, the wizard wasn't going to be deterred. “How are we doing this? I've wanted...all those years I wanted...” He then gave in fully to his desires and kissed his beloved square on the mouth. He ran his fingers through fields of pure white hair, cuddling in close as he'd long ago broken his heart in longing for this contact. “How is this possible?” He whispered, kissing the other man's temple and breathing in his scent. Bob had a scent!  _Smells like a bakery, actually..._

“Hmm,” Bob sighed cozily with his eyes drooping shut, “the short answer to that is I made a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Mm-hmm. A sorceress of considerable skill. She made me...like this...and she sent me home.”

“Are you alive?” Harry asked, still unable to get his hands off of his oldest friend in the world.

Bob gave a dry chuckle, shaking his head as it still rests against Harry's shoulder. “No, nothing like that. Do you really think such a wonderful sorceress would be as bad as I was? No, all she did was give me a solid form, and a few of the privileges the living may enjoy. I'm little more than a solid illusion, a tangible ghost. Very lifelike, though, aren't I?”

“Very.” Still, Harry noticed that his friend had no temperature to speak of, and cast no shadow or reflection. No heart beat in the man's chest or real breath escaped his lips. He was still merely a trick of light, just a more solid one than usual.

For several silent minutes, the two simply held each other, kissing and murmuring assurances that it's all really happening. Bob couldn't get over the fact that he's home at long last.

“I'm so happy to be home. I missed you, thought of you every day.”

Harry scoffed, “You were only gone like twenty minutes. How long was it for you?”

“Oh, at least a year. Maybe more. Wait, only twenty minutes?” Bob looked saddened by this as he realized his return may not have been as dramatic as he thought. “So you didn't miss me?”

“I didn't say that. I was tearing the place apart looking for you, see?”

Giving the chaotically messy room a glance, Bob faced his master again with a cheeky grin. “I don't see much difference.”

Harry growls a little, waving aside his friend's predictable jab at his housekeeping skills. “Where were you? Heaven?” A head shake. “Hell? Tell me.”

  
“No, nothing like that, Harry. It was...somewhere in between. Like here. Just...very different.” Bob didn't sound very talkative, in contradiction to his character. He sounded like he just wanted to enjoy this wonderful reunion in peace and quiet. Still, master insisted... “It was very sunny; flowers, birds and butterflies everywhere. Chipper little animals, ruled by talking ponies...”

Harry grimaced, pulling the man closer to protect him from such horror. “Sounds terrible.” Such creatures as they were certainly not at home in such a cheerful-sounding place. Harry felt doubly glad to have Bob safe at home in their dusty, dreary secret lab.

“It definitely took some getting used to.”

  
By then on the other side of the window, the rest of the gang had gathered around. They all looked at each other in surprise to hear Bob's description of their world, and the two humans' horrified opinion of it! Still, seeing the two cuddling each other made them all give a collective “Aww.”

“See, Twilight? He's his stallion,” Applejack pointed out to the moody unicorn. “He's where he belongs now.”

“He never really was a pony, after all,” Fluttershy gently reminded her.

“I know that!” Twilight huffed, stomping her hoof. “Still, I...I wish he was.” She watched her teacher's heartfelt reunion with his true love, knowing that she had done the right thing but still selfishly wishing things could have been otherwise.

Fluttershy was the first to canter in after her friend. She looked around with fearful eyes. Her friend, living in a place like this! Calling this dreadful dungeon home! Pity swelled within her until tears nearly sprang from her eyes. “Oh, Hrothbert!” She stammered frightfully, “is this really where you're from?!”  
  
Bob's head whipped around, “Fluttershy! Yes, my dear, I'm home! Whatever is the matter?”

 “It's just so weird and dark, and creepy!” The timid little pony shuddered at the sight of the wizard shop.

Pinkie Pie bounced in next, looking around herself with glee. “Weird and dark and creepy?! Like you! It's just like you! Of course you live here! Are ya glad to be home, Hrothbert?! Ooo, I know who you are!” She announced to the proprietor. She skipped around him, singing, “You're Hrothbert's stallion! You're Hrothbert's stallion! You two were just all huggy and nuzzly and comfy-cozy! Are you glad Hrothbert's back? Did you miss him? Was he gone a long, long, long, long time? Or just a teeny-tiny little bit?”

Harry looked at the colorful creatures that just appeared in the lab—there's more of them! Four, five, six!--then back at Bob. They're circling around his ghost's feet and talking as though they knew him. “What...what...?”

  
“Harry, these are my friends. This is Rainbow Dash, the biggest daredevil I've had the pleasure to watch, and I've seen Evil Knievel perform in person! This is my latest owner, Fluttershy. Harry, if she had the Gift she'd be a perfect shaman! Her ability to communicate with all creatures is simply amazing, and she makes it look so easy! And, over here is Rarity, I was her model for a time, helping her design a line of clothing for male ponies. Well, you know how much I like to show off when I can. You've met Pinkie Pie, she turns the volume up to 11 with her parties. Over there is Applejack. Careful, Dresden, she's tougher than she looks. With just one kick she can knock every apple off of a tree. And, oh good!--last but certainly not least is Twilight Sparkle. I told you about her, an unrivaled sorceress in her land, and rightly so.” He then knelt down before her, “You did the right thing, my dear. I'm sorry things didn't go your way, but you...you've made me so happy! Everything I could have dreamed of, you gave it to me. I won't forget you.”

  
Twilight still looked up at him like she wasn't sure what to think. She gave Harry a distinctly jealous look Still, it's what was best for Hrothbert. He couldn't be truly happy in Ponyville, she'd seen enough signs of that in the time that he was there. Even after living there for a year, he had still described it to his lover as a place to be endured, nothing more. Her ears drooped, her eyes look far away and full of pain. “You tried to tell me. I guess I had to see it to believe it. Why didn't I see it before? How different we are? I thought we were the same.”

“What did I tell you about saying horrible things about yourself? You don't want to be the same as me, trust me.” Bob petted her head. “I am sorry, you know. I hope it doesn't keep you down for long.”

Harry squatted down next to Bob to address the little pony as well. “Did you really do all that for him? Make him...real, for lack of a better word? Bring him back here?”

Twilight nodded, sniffling. “I don't know how long the spell will last, it's a new one for me. It's lasted this long, though, so it might hold on for a while.”

  
“Well, regardless of how long it lasts, thank you. Even if it only lasts a few more minutes. You have no idea how long we've wanted this.” Harry only had to look at her to realize what's gotten her so downhearted. He could tell that she's in love with Bob, and it was hard for her to see him happy with someone else.

  
The others had gotten rather uncomfortable watching this awkward exchange, Rarity finally piped up with a suggestion. “Hrothbert, why don't you show your friend how you looked for us!”

  
“Oh, no!” Bob denied, standing up sharply. “No, not that. I'd never hear the end of it!”

  
This piqued Harry's attention, and he stood as well, sizing his friend up. “What does she mean? Is she saying you turned yourself into...” he burst out laughing and had to take a minute to compose himself, doing a bad job of hiding it behind some unconvincing coughs and splutters, “into one of them?!”

With his most withering expression of feigned abuse, Bob scowled endearingly. “I won't show you. That's final. I came all this way to get home to you and all you'll do is laugh in my face. If you must know, it was for a perfectly good reason. Humans don't exist where they're from, I was only trying to blend in and not create a scene.”

 

“Oh, come on! I bet you make a cute pony.”

 “He does,” Twilight agreed softly, hoping to get one last look at the pony she'd lost her heart to.

Bob looked down at Twilight with a disgusted look of resignation. He couldn't say no to her, not after all she'd done for him and all of the pain he'd caused her. He felt he owed her this last glimpse. “Oh, very well.”

 

“I promise I won't laugh.”

“A wizard shouldn't make a promise he can't keep,” Bob reminded him smartly, straightening his jacket as he prepares to transform. He heaved a sharp breath and shapeshifted into his equine alter-ego. When the last golden glimmer faded, he looked up at his master, awaiting his response.

Harry wisely covered his mouth and was able to suppress a laugh that nearly escaped him. There stood his friend, just a few feet high, a pale green unicorn with a pentacle emblazoned on his rear.

Pinkie Pie was concerned that the wizard wouldn't notice this particular feature, and chose to draw further attention to it. “Look at his cutie mark! Do you know that it is? It's really neat!”

Harry nodded, having officially given up on anything making sense today. “Yeah, it's a pentacle, it's a symbol for magic.”

“For _good_ magic! It means he's _good_ now! And it means you, too! He said it reminds him of you, so I think you're his cutie mark, too!” Pinkie Pie gushed happily, scampering everywhere in her excitement.

  
“Great,” Harry monotoned, feeling like today couldn't get any stranger.  He squatted back down to be at eye-level with his friend.  “Great. What's a cutie mark?”

“It's a symbol, it shows what a pony's special talent is,” Bob explained, feeling very self-conscious. What would he do if Harry commanded him to take this shape again?! Surely, he wouldn't leave him like this, like Fluttershy did in the beginning, but still, one never can tell. “I think it means you, too, Harry.”

“Is that why you chose it?”

   
“A pony doesn't choose their cutie mark, it chooses them,” Twilight explained. “It happens when you discover who you really are, where you belong.”

Harry smiled down at his friend in pony form, petting his mane and stroking his neck. “Okay, Bob, come back.”

 Hugely relieved, Bob swirled away and reappeared as a human, still crouched on the floor in his master's lap. “Oh, I love you, Harry. I am so, so happy to be home!”

The wizard nuzzled his head against his, kissing his forehead with a contented purr. “I love you, too, Bob,” he whispered back. “Now get up, you're giving me flashbacks lying on the floor like that.”

Bob chuckled understandingly, remembering the last time they'd been like that, how traumatic that had been for both of them.  Gratefully, he stood back up and allowed Harry to take him into his arms. The younger man cradled him lovingly, neither of them looking like they were going to let go any time soon.

  
“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” Fluttershy noted. Then she gave Bob a secret smile before trotting over to Rainbow Dash, nuzzling into her shoulder. Rainbow Dash looked over at her, startled, then relaxed with a shy smile of her own, giving Fluttershy's forehead an affectionate lick. Bob all but applauded them, looking wholly touched by their display of togetherness. Rainbow Dash then draped a wing protectively around Fluttershy, their very hearts were soaring among the clouds, both of them were completely amazed at how simple it really was.

  
“Well,” Bob sighed heavily, “thank you all for everything. Miss Sparkle, do keep up with your studies, I'd hate to see the advances you've made go to waste.”

“I will,” she promised, still eager as ever go make her mentor proud.

  
“The rest of you, good luck in your endeavors. I've...certainly learned much from each of you.” He faltered here, now looking genuinely upset at seeing the last of his friends. “Well...good bye.”

“Bye, Hrothbert!” the ponies chorused cheerfully.

“I'll give Angel and the others your best,” Fluttershy added softly.

They file out two by two and the portal closed behind them, leaving the two humans alone once again. Together, they look from the newly-closed window back to each other and they laugh. Bob shrugged, unable or unwilling to explain anything fully. He simply slipped his hand into Harry's and brought it up to kiss his fingers.

 

Suddenly, a golden flash of light appeared and a scroll fell out of thin air. Bob picked it up, unfurled it, and read:

  
“Dear Hrothbert of Bainbridge,

 

It has come to my attention that Twilight Sparkle has sent you back where you came from, where you are still regarded with mistrust by your superiors. You learned much of the magic of friendship during your stay in Ponyville, and as ruler of Equestria I have informed your High Council of your improvement. They have agreed to allow Twilight's spell to lighten your sentence on the condition that you return to Ponyville periodically as they have deemed it beneficial to your progress. You will receive a booster spell each time to prolong its effects. You have my permission to bring your stallion as well.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia”

  
The next second, a parcel appeared in a similar burst of light: a pair of saddle bags with his pentacle embroidered on them. Bob laughed shortly, looking at his master, tossing them to him so he could see.  
  


 “My stallion...She means you, you know. I'm glad that you're my stallion.”  
  


 The wizard took his ghost's hand again, stroking it between his. “Welcome home, my little pony,” Harry teases playfully.


End file.
